Story 4: A Second Chance At Life
I started smoking when I was 14 years old. I'm not really sure of the exact reason. I know I had begun hanging around with people who did smoke and I was very curious as to what made the so "happy". So one day I gave in and tried it........ahhhhhh now I knew!! Or so I thought! At the time and for the next 10 years or so smoking did seem to make me very happy. I smoked it everyday all day long. Before school, at lunch, after school and all evening. I worked a part time job in high school so I was always "the friend with the pot". I took alot of risks to score during those years. Most of my connections were older guys, high school drop outs who when I look back seemed a little too thrilled to be selling to a young high schooler
This went on till around my mid twenties. Then a the matter of smoking to be happy somehow took a wrong turn into "I must be high to handle life". I managed to quit smoking before work and at lunch time, but as soon as I walked in the door after work I hit the bong and continued to all night. On the weekends it was a day long event. Eventually the paranoia set in and got worse and worse. I would isolate in the house thinking at any moment that the cops would come knocking on my door and arrest me. Then I would consider the consequences of jail, embarassment, humiliation. That never stopped me from smoking! I'd just smoke more to forget what it was I was obsessing over in the first place!
The straw that finally broke this camel's back was the failing of a drug test for a new job. I know what you are thinking....you shouldn't quit just to get a new job! Well, lemme tell you I didn't get the job and had already quit my other job so there I was 33 yrs old, no job for the first time in my life, humiliated beyond belief and totally hopeless. I stayed home and smoked for 6 mos continually! Finally I told myself that it was time! I would smoke what I had left and that would be it. That was the longest lasting bag ever!!!!! LOL When it was gone, August 8, 1999, I sought out MA online. I had already made some calls and found no land MA meetings in my area. I went to the MA room on AOL and found a brave bunch of people who were guess what??? JUST like me!!! It was a miracle! All that time I had been thinking I was the only one who could possibly have a problem with pot. Right away a few (you know who you are) with some time, came to love me when I couldn't love myself! I continued going to meetings, Instant messaging, and reaching out to other potheads in recovery
Now, 3 years and 2 keyboards later, I'm still going strong! Online recovery has been a true life saver for me. My life has gone in great directions since I quit smoking and my fears of the impossible have subsided. Thanks to all of you that have gone before me and all of you who come after I got a second chance at life!
You may also mail your 7th Tradition donation the old fashioned USPS way to:
MA Online
c/o of Daniel G.
3571 Far West Blvd., #87
Austin, Texas, 78731