533 One Day At A Times Once I opened up my heart and got honest firstly with myself, I opened up to my family doctor -- a very lovely lady who held no judgments against me -- only listened and empathized. It made me feel better about myself and my decision to open up to her, the desire to smoke no longer consumed my every thought. I found MA Online, learned that there are no face to face meetings anywhere in my home state. I relied on the Recovery Pipeline and online meetings to keep my sanity and my strength. But most importantly I turned it over to my Higher Power whom I call God. There were many times when I prayed to stop smoking pot. When I prayed, I was usually stoned and paranoid, and really not enjoying the stoned effect all the time. I would think maybe I should try praying when I was straight and I truly believe that it was my HP guiding me to open up to my doctor and my Higher Power who helped me find MA Online. It wasn't easy, as I was told, but it was simple, just don't use today!! With the support I received from so many others in the same situation, I was no longer alone in my addiction or my recovery. I still share my life with an active user but he keeps it away from me, and for that I am grateful. Knowing it is there is sometimes difficult, especially if I get a whiff of it. Those times when it smells really nice, my inner addict tries to overwhelm me but I refuse to give up my clean time for one toke that I know will not be enough for this addict. Other times I have tried to stop on my own, all it has taken is one cone (bowl) and before I knew it I was back to daily smoking, several times a day. It's a cunning thing, the addict within, but with constant vigilance, support and prayer it can be contained. Being of service to MA Online has also helped considerably in keeping me clean, as it keeps me accountable of my clean time. Taking up interests in other areas that keep me away from pot and help me to enjoy my life also help, as I should not just live an illusion but really live life on life's terms. Thanks to all of you for your part in keeping me clean.